"These scars on my wrists are proof that people like you to exist"...We always believe that the first hit hurts you most, then you get used to the pain and you don't feel it anymore...what a cruel wishful thinking, it doesn't go that way cause what made you suffer the first time did't disappear with that first hit. It's still there, so fragile, so hidden...you try to delude yourself you don't feel the wickness inside, you can't hear its mourning each and every moment it was handdled harshly...smashed, broken...you die so many times in a lifetime... you die when they say flowers are forever and you see their petals whispered the next day, you die when winter ends and under it you find out not everything was white and bright but mostly cold and dirty...you die with every wound bleeding, with every lie carved in your body...
And despite all that, i guess we are never really prepared to say goodbye properly. What could we say to last forever when you are just a moment in time? Could words coming from a mortal survive to his vanishing? I guess not. Words will be forgotten and deeds will be useless without the one who gave them birth, it's the unsaid and the undone that keep tormenting both sides...cause they won't have the chance to blossom and change lifes anymore. How could someone leaving brighten his death when he could never brighten his life?
It seems endings shouldn't hurt when you have nobody to care about you...but maybe that's what hurts most, you spent existence without a friend and now you're about to spend your not being without a witness. But shouln't you be happy not leaving any shattered life behind...no pain that doesn't go away with painkillers, no tears spread on precious memories? It's strange how people like to see they meant something for someone when such truth causes deep suffering for both of them...we can't be so selfish as to wish for our going away to mark the existence of those left behind. So when the plane takes off it's always easier if there's no one leading you to the airport. For the first and last time, you won't be wearing the safebelt... 
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